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2026-09-16

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  ERE the half-hour ended, five o'clock struck; school was dismissed,and all were gone into the refectory to tea. I now ventured todescend: it was deep dusk; I retired into a corner and sat down on thefloor. The spell by which I had been so far supported began todissolve; reaction took place, and soon, so overwhelming was the griefthat seized me, I sank prostrate with my face to the ground. Now Iwept: Helen Burns was not here; nothing sustained me; left to myself Iabandoned myself, and my tears watered the boards. I had meant to beso good, and to do so much at Lowood: to make so many friends, to earnrespect and win affection. Already I had made visible progress; thatvery morning I had reached the head of my class; Miss Miller hadpraised me warmly; Miss Temple had smiled approbation; she hadpromised to teach me drawing, and to let me learn French, if Icontinued to make similar improvement two months longer: and then Iwas well received by my fellow-pupils; treated as an equal by those ofmy own age, and not mole

  This, par parenthese, will be thought cool language by personswho entertain solemn doctrines about the angelic nature of children,and the duty of those charged with their education to conceive forthem an idolatrous devotion: but I am not writing to flatterparental egotism, to echo cant, or prop up humbug; I am merely tellingthe truth. I felt a conscientious solicitude for Adele's welfare andprogress, and a quiet liking for her little self: just as Icherished towards Mrs. Fairfax a thankfulness for her kindness, anda pleasure in her society proportionate to the tranquil regard she hadfor me, and the moderation of her mind and character.

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